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Tuesday, January 17, 20127:42 AM
This is my second post for the year and I dislike being all-so negative, but This is me, ranting about life. I see this space as a platform for me to pour my inner thoughts and feelings, and still being able to admit that I'm responsible for writing all these things. I'll try to ensure that my opinions are more likely to be based on critical judgement and not so much of my emotions. But, who am I trying to fool here? Like any other females, overpowered by feelings and emotions, I find it very difficult to hold on to that.
I had a rough night and said things that I wasn't proud of. I'm so touched, yet at the same time, angry. But most of all, I'm upset. I definitely do not have a very good reason for feeling this way nor do I think I deserve to feel this way. All I know is that i'm conflicted and confused. I want him to go with me and at the same time, I don't want him to. But all that I'm feeling right now is not much of a concern anymore, It's official. He's not coming. |
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Monday, January 16, 20126:13 AM
I didn't blog for the whole year of 2011 and I'm going to change that for this year.
So much have happened since I last blogged and I don't even know where to start. I've accomplished a lot in the past year and I can't deny the fact that I'm proud of myself. Well let me begin with the fact that I made it through O'levels. Even though I got the results almost a year ago, the feeling that I felt on that day, was just Amazing. My hard work and sheer number of hours and sleepless nights was all worth it. Raw L1R5 of 11, enough to bring me into Meridian Junior College, where I am right now. The year of 2011 was filled with so much memories. Some that I wish I could forget and some that I hope I will never have to. I struggled through Year 1 in MJ and now I'm a J2 student. Taking A levels at the end of this year, A levels. Oh my god, A levels.
Well, that's a quick summary of whats going on in my life. Of course, I've done so much more than this! Did I mention that while waiting for my O'levels results, I had my first part-time job ever? I worked with my mom @ DHL, earning about $6.50/h. 6 hours everyday, 5 times a week. This, by far, was one of the most interesting thing that I did during the holiday, besides gaining weight. The whole working experience gave me a taste of working life. Something, that I'm definitely not ready for. It gave me a whole new perspective. Up till today, whenever I see my mom getting ready to go to work, I tell myself that I'm going to study and work hard, get myself a decent well-paying job, so that my mom doesn't have to go to work anymore. Mom, i love you.
Fast-forward to the day I stepped into MJC. The seniors welcomed us by standing along the sides of the gate and clapped and cheered as we went into the school. It was overwhelming but It's effective, in a way, their enthusiasm left me with nothing but a deep sense of belonging to the school. My Meridian journey didn't start out that great. I barely knew anyone and the thought of having to make new friends all over again just discouraged me from having fun. I was brought out of my comfort zone and I couldn't help but to feel restless and lost. All I ever wanted then was for my best friend to be there with me. I went through 4 years of secondary school life with the people that I've grown to love and care for. Making new friends, at that point of time, was just difficult for me. Coming from a neighbourhood school didn't help a bit, I definitely felt left-out during the first few days....and weeks. Eventually, I made new friends, whom are now my Close Friends. I felt blessed being able to be a part of an incredible class. My Meridian journey begin to pick up from there and the following months was just ___________. Obviously, I can't find a word to describe it. It's just beyond awesome.
I'm in Drama Club, or we would like to be called The Meridian Stage, and I owe it to this incredible group of people for making my journey a whole lot more easier. Even if I've never really shown it physically, I genuinely love each and every single member of this family. In the year of 2011, The Meridian Stage put up our very own musical @ Alliance Francaise. Months and months of rehearsals was clearly worth it when we saw the smiles on everyone's faces. Standing Ovation. A feeling so strong that I could barely describe with just words. The support that we received was Amazing, I could not have asked for more. Really. This year, the Meridian Stage will be going through SYF. Probably the only performing arts CCA that will be having SYF. Hopefully, we could overcome any hardships together, as one. God, please.
I've grown and changed so much as an individual. Every single day, I wake up, hoping that I could be a better person. God gave me another chance at life and I don't want him to ever regret giving me this opportunity to live. Have you ever met someone with big dreams and you think that he'll never be able to achieve it? Well I've met that person and I'm living in her world. Not only does she have a big dream, she would love everyone to be a part of it and dream with her. So that one day, all of us could turn this big dream of hers, into reality. |
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Friday, July 9, 20108:10 AM
You live once, and live it well.
Though life may seem pointless most of the times, i wont deny that there are moments that you would never forget. Moments when you wish it would last longer. Moments when you hope it never ends. Moments when you wish you had captured it with a camera. These are the few moments that would see you through the miserable life you're living. These are the moments that would be the reasons to why you're still holding on. You may lose trust, love, and care. But you can never lose this moments, cause they will forever be in your memories. (unless you're senile, of course) For me, life has always been challenging. I see these challenges as a reminder from God, so that i would be constantly reminded that I dont live for myself. I am reminded that miracles dont come by easy. I am reminded that i have choices in life. It is all up to me what kind of life i want to live. It is all up to me what i want to be in life. Somebody told me before, that i have to be positive in life and i can control over my own feelings. I believed his words. But i just cant believe that right now, He is going against his own words. Im having doubts, my friends. My questions are often left unanswered. For those who have the answers to all my doubts, please help me. So you see, the good moments in my life are limited. And all this while, im holding on to these moments. I feel like i know why i am still living this life, at least i think i do. But im running out of moments. Tell me, what else can i hold on to now. No, i cant hold on to your promises. Cause i'll end up getting more hurt. |
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Friday, April 30, 20105:23 AM
Love lend you his Watch.
Love give his best advice. Love plays uno with you after an important paper. Love mms you a photo of his muscle. Love cooks you a plate of Nasi goreng. Love stares at his muscle more than he stares at you. Love shares his passion fruit milkshake (with coconut jelly) with you. Love ties your hair while waiting for a bus. Love would call you no matter how angry you are with him. Love does not shower when he meets after a day at the gym. Love plays badminton with you and never let you win. Love wont care how you look like. Love plays happy family with you. Love sends you a voice clip saying nothing but a 'mrgggghwah'. Love makes you feel like you're the only girl on earth. Love is weak. What does your love does? |
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Wednesday, April 14, 20104:44 AM
For the name of Fun.
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Saturday, February 20, 20105:50 AM
Lying isn't the easy way out of fights.
Lie is something you can control. Lie is something you can choose not to do. Lie is something you can deal with. Lie is something you can decide not to do. Lie is something which is not hard to resist. We can't possibly lie and claimed it a white lie. We can't possibly lie and said its for the better of others. We can't simple just lie and thinks its fine. Lying, is never fine. Have you ever think of how much it would crush somebody if they were to know you lied? Have you ever think of how much pain you would bring to somebody with your lies? Have you ever think of what your lies can do to somebody's life? You never know unless you have been lied to. And being lied to, sucks. Cause at the end of the day, you would just be another naive girl, drowned in your boyfriend's lies. Blamed fate but never blame yourself. Isn't it amazing how much it sucks to be at fault? Do you ever realized that you have been putting all the blame to Fate? Poor little Fate for doing so much ruins to people's life, people like you. All of us, me and you. But do you really think that Fate has been doing all these to your life? Or do you really think you have nothing to do with all the failures in your life? It must have been Fate's fault for making me failed Physics then. It must be Fate's fault for ruining my friendships then. You really think that way, do you? Shame on you. It is nice to know that there is someone out there that cares for you, loves you, crave for your company. It is never nice, to know that there is somebody out there that longs to destroy you, that just wants to get you out of her life. But, it is great to know that there is somebody out there, that would be your soul mate one day. You may never know, until that day happens. It hurts me a million times more, boy. Happy one year five month of texting. |
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Tuesday, January 26, 20106:53 PM
A Simple touch,
gives that feeling so stong A simple smile, brings back the moments we shared A simple piture, etched in my mind forever. With every word of love, I tremble feeling so treasured. With every hug, i feel so secured. I'm like the stars and you're the moon Together We're beautiful like nothing else in the world. You, are unbelievably beautiful For you I would risk dying in a duel My love is so strong, it makes me fly Each time we go home, I have to deeply sigh How i long for us to be here together, Without you i feel life does not matter. Love is beautiful, you see. |
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