To think that you would change for me.

What is it that ive not been giving ? What is it that ive been lacking ? I gave you all you wanted. I gave up hereafter for you. I did it, with fear, for you. For you. Have you even thought about me ? Didnt you even thought abt hw i'll feel ? How hurt im gna be ? Didnt you even thought how i'd reacted ? Crying or even slashing ? Havent you hurt me enough ? Wo do you even think i was ? Some sick person that'll be cured with a kiss ? what was i realy to you ? Some desperate bitch crawling after you for love ? Was it so hard to be faithful for even a second ? Why must you even do this to me ? Why do treat me like some dumb person or idiot ? What makes you think im one ? Why must you broke your promises ? Was it so hard to keep one ? Even one ? Have ive been asking so much ? Why must you make me hate myself for forgiving you and fr loving you ? Tell me, please.

I dont get it. I've been living life for almost fourteen years. I'm not borned yesterday. Or neither did i just learned to talk last night. Is it you or is it me that has been totally different nowadays ? We're not what we were. We did not do things that we used to do anymore. We dont talk stuffs that we always talked about. I don't feel like im yours. I feel abandoned, neglected. Not loved. not anymore. We rarely fight now and i thought that its good. But its not, never been good. I promised and i kept it. But you just keep on breaking ur promises that ive always been holding onto. Not your love, your promises. And soon, i'll run out of them. So what am i suppose to do ? Tell me, help me, pardon me. Please. Don't hurt me again, don't betray me again, don't let me cry again, Don't. You thought, I have eyes to cry, ears to be torn and brain to be smashed. No bby, no. I have them to see, listen and to think. Im neither dumb or stupid. No matter how much i kept my mouth shut, you knew that my heart has always been talking. And to think that ive been giving so much, preparing myself to be burn in hell, just for you. And to think that ive been forgiving you all this while. And to think i said love when thats the last thing i should be talking about. And to think ive been lying all my life, just for you. And to think that you're gna change for me. My thoughts are all bullshits, i say. Now, im saying. They're Bullshits. You let me slipped through your arms, *click just like that. Just like that. I tried so hard to think whats gg on in your mind, but i was thinking too hard. You're dragging me away frm me being me. You're taking my guts away from me. You're pulling my life away from what is has to be. You, my lover.
new past