chef yaya


muffins ~

A lady on her about-to-give-birth-bed says, "bby, why are you looking at my bestf ? am i that ugly ? bby, are you leaving me ? oh no, you are leaving me ! bby, im not giving birth unless you stop looking at my bestf ! bitch, you're prettier than me. go away. Nurse, will you get me my lipstick ? Bby, stop looking at her ! ".

My momdadsister laughed while watching this scene. i dont get it ?

okay letsee,

Monday 250808 din go school. ma bitch overnightted. lovesssss ~
Tuesday 260808 got leadership workshop part two. no comments.
Wedenesday 270808 Rehearsal ! sang with izzalove mcm got no besok gtu.
Thursday 280808 haiyoooo. lengkap satu bulan. im soo loving life (:
Friday 290808 Teachers Day celeb. stompped, camwhored, macd at downtown with momma, went coral with bie, bestf, met lotsa ppl, and went swimming with bie, billy, yaszar, khairi, asyraf, syafiq, haikal. who did i missed ?
Saturday 300808 slacked at home ? went madjack ! eateateat.
Sunday 310808 baked 24 choc muffins at home. a way of welcoming ramadhan !
uh yea, on sundaay 240808 went courts bought cameraaaa ~ and met Didi sama Fuad. fated kot.
as you can see. My life = new + new + exciting shits. i cant be more greatfull than this. and yes, the things + infos tht i nvr wna hear or i can nvr expect, happens & occurs over and over again. all this things that mostly affects me and all those things that doesnt affects me, surprises me like nvr before. i am happy this way. i'll never ask for more. even if yalls come approaching, why would i say no ? its about time i do this. its about time i give it all i got. i repeat, I LOVE LIFE ! and i so got no comments about the people that think they're right when they're not and just keeps surprising people. you guys may thought this things you're doing is cool shits, but eventually its the last thing we wna knw or hear about it. me -> :O

It's not like im created to think about you, to love you all my life. I have a life, of my own. I've forget you since and never will i ever love. and the time that i'll ever stop hearing ur name is the day i turn deaf. and probably, it would be the best of the best moment of my life. you, completely off my life. even if i hadnt turn deaf, you'd be some trash in my mind. frget about the fact tht i wanted to help. frget th fact tht i loved you, and now i perfectly realise tht you're one of my huge mistake.

FCUKYOU.







okay lemme talk about NCC this time.

These few trainings has been dissappoiting. Y'all have been getting frm bad to worse. The attendance - goes down th drain like, realy way way way way dooown the drain. How should i say this ? uhm. Let's start with the T. You guys have been the people that has been supporting part B's attendance, you guys were th one thts been giving me the spirit to go on, eventhough our used-to-be problem was the A. But now, since the A are starting to come back, the Ts are gone. only the E stays, forever. Why cant you be consistent in attendance ?! Do you guys knw hw sad, disappoiting and freagginly pathetic our attendance is ?! Whats realy been holding yguys back ? Whats realy the matter w you yguys ? Issit that hard to just turn up for trg once a week, give tht bloody standard, have fun and bond ?! whats with all these attitude ?! you guys are freagginly selfish, no offence ar. What yguys are doing are affecting those innocent people who has big dreams for NCC. If yguys think tht NCC is nothing, you guys have just to do one thing, LEAVE. be a quitter, loser whatever. Just stop thinking fr yourselves.

Stop giving me moodswings every thurs night and fri la !

I've gta share this to you guys. if you guys gt cableteevee go watch this thing or what shit la. Cause ive been watching this behind th scene of an indonesian drama series and its like freaggin dramatic. hehe yes. And itsooo bring back all th psch memories. okay roughly, this drama is like about two lady (nana and ____ i frget. okay lets name her tutu) -bestfriends, sorta falling fr this guy (rian) -celeb, and somehw its like so fated tht they got to meet this guy. And the drama series shows how this two girl overcome their problems. There was alot of fights/arguments/confrontations and all those times when they tried to defeat each other. fuuh, hectic i tell you. ive watched one of the episodes and after five mins, i was alr out of breath. Yknw hw indonesian drama exegerates every scene; two thumbs up.

So tutu actually get along better with rian so they've been close since they knew each other. and they're often complimented as th most suitable couple eva. everyone was like so excited la liddat. the news and pictures going ard wild enough to make nana jealous. and so, th first thing she did was tht she tried to get closer to rian and dress herself up and stuff. she flirt like twofourseven.i got sick of her flirtacious face sia. her face, +disgusting , -pretty. yknw wht i mean ? pfft.

But the sad thing is, they've been bestfriends since forever. and th first few episodes was liek all about them. About hw close they were. I almost mistook them fr twin sisters, realy. They helped each other overcome each other's problems and i like th part when tutu sleptover at nana's house. i love that episode ! one word; FUN. they had complete fun, i tell you. and they made this promise to each other : We promise to get through any problems together and not letting anything get in our way. Sisters forever ! hahahahaha. However, it only took A GUY to seperate them. How sad ]':

so this drama thing is still going on. idk whats the ending like so ive beeen waiting real patiently fr this to end. i wna seeee hw they concluded this drama and ended of their fights. i'll update you guys once i knw wht happen okay ? pinky promise. idc if you dnt wna knw, i'll still post about it ! if you guys are like interested to knw, you guys go check out fr youryouryourselves.

And yet all this scenes,episodes and dramas is all compact fitted into one boxz. The teevee. it seeems all so dramatic and you might think its all shit and could nvr happen right ? sheesh, ive a confession to make. Yani & me fell fr th same guy at psch ! hahahhahahahahaha. ohgosh. i still remember hw close we were and we fought just bcause of him. uhhhhhh. at last, neither of us got him. S.T.U.P.I.D , i know. pfft. and yes, can i dedicate this post to you hunn. Sorry about all those nasty psch times. imy badly ):

And th only reason im posting abt this drama is bcause i cried watching one of the episodes hehe,
BETWEEEN US TAAAAAAAAAAAU. *winks

i dont have th time to type as long as sheshe does,
so this post aint gna be THAT long, i wna share this lyric.
it kinda mean something. idk what, okay go.

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your hurt and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you ever meant to my life
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
But I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
But there's nothing left to say - but goodbye
You deserve a chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful for me
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong

Power eh ? yea i guess so. i dont know whats the word i can ever use to describe me-now. Yes, its different. and Yeaa i felt it, the lost. but im happy. Yea, im certain of that. For all i know, im sure that im closer to my girls. and yes, im happy of thaaat. nothing could have been better right ?

uh, 2008. its just so depressing and disappointing. no offence anyone, but could you guys can just stop frm going astray ?! Just be who you realy are, stop being somone you're not, stop being tht somone whom you thought you would get more friends being liddat, stop being so foolish - Just be yourself. Speak fr yourself man ameeeera. ugh, but realy. I wonder why we arent as united as we used to be. Arent we HAPPY before ? All this changes arent necessary, not for you or me. Why would you guys do this to us ? Leadership; influence. Influence ? stop it. fcuk this smoking thing. It ain't cool. You dont look Hot, standing there puffing your lives off, coughing ur bloody asz off. It's not cool. Yknw whats cool ? Do you freaggin know whats cooool ?! twozerozeroseven. Now thats COOL. us being so childish. us being so ourselves. us being so united. but now, this is SHIT. take that.

WHATS UP WITH ALL THE MOODSWINGS ?! some growing up symtopms or what sia ? pfft.


she has great taste,
and ure nt my type.

4th August 2008.
11th month anni ! (as stated in hp)

Yea, tomorrow. Our eleventh month anniversary. Supposed to. But its over. The eighth month msg is still my favourite. But what has been done, cnt be undone. can it ? If only i could do something. I would realy love to change you. Not for me, but fr yourself. I know, you wont live happiness, if this goes on. 27 rejab, i wished that god would give you th strength and guide you to change and that someday, our dream would be real. someday. Maybe , i was being silly. Love ? Is this love. I doubt so. Fanatic, i say. Im dumb. Silly me. What do i see when i close my eyes ? These; our sunday nights, the sunset, the beautiful awesome sunset, the morning walk, our very first date, the way you tell me you love me, the way you look me in the eyes, you are th music in me, kiches, th way i pushed you and you pulled me back into ur arms, th way you lie on my shoulder and tell me, " imagine one day, you're here all by yourself, without me. ", the way we had the serious conversations, the day you asked me to be yours forever, the way you called me your bby, the way you apologised for the silly mistakes you did, th way you called on me and recite the surahs to me, th way you read of al-quran, those times when we argued over small things, those times you went down on ur knees and 'proposed', those time when we played pepsi cola 123, those times you feed me, those times when you take away my specs and told me hw beautiful i was without it, those time when you made me feel safe, those times when you hugged me tight and say tht everythings gna be fine, the very first kiss we shared, the very first time we talked, the very time you whispered to me, those times you taught me hw to play cards, those times you showed me 'magic', the spark, the everything. ohgod. memories. beautiful ones. someday, i'll learn to live without them. Thank you fr everything.

what was i thinking again ?

haha, learned my lesson.
shall we not talk about it again.
shit this blog.
it's all about him.
heh, whatever.
let's just make this th last post fr him.

yo you,
You need time, to change. Goodbye.

haha
No matetr how angry i am, no matter hw much i hate him, no matter wht im feeling, no matter hw confused i am, I LEARNED MY LESSON.
never ever gna be involve, again.
new past